


Eau de Rose

by greyonasunday



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Allergies, Gen, aka loba puts up with an actual walking disaster, listen don't you dare @ me, sneeze, snz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 08:14:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29573040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greyonasunday/pseuds/greyonasunday
Summary: When Mirage has trouble concentrating due to an unknown allergy, Loba does her best to... help him out.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	Eau de Rose

It was infuriating. An itch he couldn't scratch. Elliott had been fiddling with his nose for the past two minutes, sniffing and huffing from a tickle that would go away no matter how much he rubbed, and yet refused to blossom into an actual sneeze.  
  
His eyes watered slightly as he ground a knuckle beneath slightly pink, fidgety nostrils, coughing out a ticklish breath and grimacing. Ugh, his nose had never itched so much before - was he possibly allergic to something? He had been on Olympus this entire time, and none of the grass, flowers or various other scents had ever bothered him this much.  
  
Loba was resting beside him with her gaze checking through her scope, completely preoccupied - at least, until Elliott's breath snagged again, and she dropped the Triple Take with a frustrated growl.  
  
"Mirage, _darling_..." Her voice, still smooth and rich as honey, held an edge of agitation that caused Elliott to tense, offering her an awkward half-smile. "If you could stop gasping for maybe one moment, if that's not asking _too_ much," When he went right back to scouring his nose, she finally rolled her eyes and, in a rather swift motion, took hold of the trickster's chin in her manicured fingers. "What's wrong?"  
  
He cringed, chancing a weak sniff as another flood of tears obscured his vision, and he immediately began blinking them away as he shrugged. "I-I don't know. Ever since the match started, something's been bothering my nose - Feels like I h... h-have _to_..."  
  
Fortunately, Loba recognized the hazy expression and immediately shoved his face to the side - the last thing she needed was the idiot spraying a sneeze all over her. And yet, after a few more tense, panting breaths, Mirage only groaned and pitifully dragged the back of his hand beneath his itchy nose. "See? _snf!_ I don't kn-know what's wrong with me..."  
  
Loba puffed out a frustrated sigh. Well, he was obviously of little use while on the cusp of a sneeze. Sharp nails tapped her chin thoughtfully while watching him. "Are you allergic to anything?" Her lips pursed when he shook his head. "Are you _sure?_ "  
  
"I amb! Seriously, besides cats and... well, this other thing, but it can't be _that_ ,"  
  
Loba raised a brow, suddenly intrigued. "What is it?" Mirage cleared his throat, and she cringed as he sucked in another slurpy sounding sniffle. "It's this perfume; someone at an event wore it once, and I swear, I was sneezing the entire night. The lady was so sorry about it but I told her it wasn't a big deal, just tried to steer clear of her the rest of the night. It was bef _ohh_... ugh, before you joined," As he used his palm to scour the tip of his nose, Loba bit down on the inside of her cheek. "Do you happen to remember the name of this perfume?"  
  
She watched anxiously as his gaze narrowed in thought. "Uhh... Oh! Like, _Eau de Rose_ , I think? Something about r-rose _hhEHH!_ " The trickster's shoulders tensed as his head tilted back. The itch burned so fiercely, he was certain that he'd sneeze this time, and the corner of his mouth even lifted up slightly as he took in another gasp... and waited... no, no _no, not again-!_ He thumped his head down onto the grass with a whimper; meanwhile, Loba was attempting to stifle an amused chuckle. When he noticed, he eyed her through slit lids. "Oh, you think it's funny, huh?"  
  
She didn't bother hiding her coy smile, instead shaking her head and quirking her index finger in a beckoning motion. Still wary, Mirage inched a bit closer. "Close your eyes," When he raised a brow, Loba gave him a deep scowl, and he finally huffed and let his puffy lids slip shut, still faintly wiggling his nose.  
  
He was tense as he awaited whatever Loba had in mind, almost expecting her to try and slap the urge away. But he heard the sound of something being sprayed, and flinched as a few droplets landed on his face - he sniffled on reflex, and the burning in his nose went from irritating to a raging fire in his sinuses.  
  
"Wha _ahhh_... _hhiiEEHH?!_ " Long lashes fluttered rapidly as his breath hitched, nostrils quivering wide before he finally ducked down with a desperate, _"hehhJKSHUUuu!"_ He nearly moaned, the sneeze having left him dizzy but oddly satisfied, but he didn't have time to enjoy the feeling as another gasp ghosted past his lips. _"iiIEETSHHUu! hH'JSHhttshhu! hehhITSCHHHh! 'ihHTSCHHh!"_  
  
By the time he had finished, he had a gloved hand cupped over his mouth and nose, the latter sufficiently streaming despite his frantic sniffling. When he blinked over to Loba, she was once again holding back her laughter, mouth quirked to the side in a bemused smirk. "Well, I suppose switching up my perfume wasn't the _best_ idea," She mused, tucking the small bottle back into her side pocket.  
  
Mirage deadpanned. "I hate y... y _uhh_... _heh-ITSCHHH!_ "  
  
"Gesundheit. Now _quiet_ , I need to line up this shot,"

\---

 _"hieEHH- ITSCHH! ITTSCHH'UE!"_ Mirage nearly doubled over as he sneezed, once again using the back of his glove to swipe beneath his running nose. It was already damp beyond belief, but the handkerchief Loba had lent him hadn't helped in the slightest. He had been so grateful for a scrap of cloth to blow his nose into that both of them failed to realize the item would be equally soaked in her perfume - they had to pause at one of the nearby Charge Towers in order for him to sneeze in relative peace... for almost fifteen minutes.   
  
Loba had actually been pretty understanding all things considered. If they had access to facilities of some sort, she would have washed the perfume off no issue. But as it stood, they had yet to access a building with running water, and with the Ring closing in, it would be far more difficult to scout ahead just for that purpose. 

For now, she tried to keep a minimal amount of distance between them, though she honestly wasn't sure if it was helping Mirage any. She could still hear his stuffy, congested sniffles and open-mouth breathing - which was already grating under normal circumstances, but coming from him now, it seemed to garner a sort of sympathy from her diamond-encrusted heart. He just sounded so pitifully miserable.   
  
" _ihhHKTSCHHH'Ue!_ Oh, mby God... L-Loba, hag od," 

Though it was the last thing either of them needed to do, and Loba had to reign in a frustrated growl, she simply paused in her step, swiveling around to see what it was Mirage might need.   
  
The sight was almost cringe-worthy. He had plopped atop a line of crates, dripping nose aimed down at the floor beneath his hanging boots. Even from her distance, Loba could see that his features were swollen, eyes red-rimmed, nose tinged a dark, rosy pink, almost red around the nostrils. His jaw was dropped open as he inhaled through his mouth, likely unable to take in any breath through his nose. Poor thing...  
  
And then he brought out a familiar, silver-lined cloth, and Loba rolled her eyes. Poor _idiot_. "That's only going to make it worse-"  
  
"I'm _ndot_ just gonnda let mby ndose rud," Loba pressed her lips into a firm line. _Christ_ , she could barely understand him. As much as she hated to admit, he was right - there was no use in dripping all over himself. She turned away when he pressed the handkerchief to his nose, lips curling into a grimace at the loud, frankly disgusting burbling blow he gave. When she turned back, Mirage actually looked mildly relieved, massaging his nose within a dry spot. 

"Better? Good, now let's go before-"  
  
The sound of a gunshot rang out in the expansive hanger, causing both Legends to jerk their heads in the direction it originated from. _"Damn it,"_ Loba swore between clenched teeth, immediately backpedaling towards the crates Mirage had been seated on. Thankfully, he had already taken refuse behind them, and when Loba joined him, both held their breaths.   
  
Gunfire echoed in the hanger, along with a few shouting voices, growing closer and closer with each blast and grenade toss. She hated this - if only their third hadn't been an absolute fool and gotten themselves killed within the first five minutes of dropping. Neither of them had a respawn beacon on hand, and each one they came across had already been used. So now they were a team of two, hiding like rats in a sewer while two other teams, likely with _all_ of their members, dueled it out behind them. Well, she had been in worse situations. She could make this work.  
  
Eventually, the sounds of battle began to fade into an eerie quiet - the kind of quiet that only happened when someone took their final breath on the battlefield. Loba craned her head and, if she wasn't mistaken, heard the hiss of a canister; someone struggling to breathe, suffocating, and that laughter: unmistakably dark-

 _Caustic_.

Wonderful. Alright, so they would have to be weary of potential gas traps - nothing she hadn't been able to handle in previous games. They could slip away easily though, since the other team would likely be occupied with looting the spoils of their conquest. This actually worked out in their favor: Mirage had his Dupes, and Loba her bracelet. They were both masters of making quick, sometimes quiet getaways, or diversions if necessary. This would be _easy_.  
  
Smirking, Loba returned her gaze to Mirage in order to signal him, but her expression morphed into panic when she saw his. Head tilted pack, finger poised beneath his nose, chest shuddering with soft, but stilted breaths. _Shit, shit shit-_  
  
Before she could think of anything else, the thief quickly whipped a hand up to pinch his flaring nostrils shut, which honestly surprised both of them. At least Mirage seemed more shocked than sneezy - meanwhile, Loba couldn't help but shudder as she felt the distinct dampness coating her fingers. Still, this wasn't the most disgusting situation she had found herself in, and she definitely wasn't letting go until he had himself under control.   
  
The trickster blinked, wrinkled his nose, and heaved a silent sigh before flashing Loba a thumbs up. _Good_. Shoulders lowering from their taught hunch, Loba allowed her hand to drop, brushing the wetness across her pants. Alright, time to move. She motioned towards the stairs leading to a lower deck, and he nodded, then began following after her. 

Though their movements were cautious, both reached the deck without incident and, being more out of sight, Loba began creeping a little faster towards the hut leading beneath that level, expecting Mirage to follow behind.  
  
 _"hHH!"_ Though it wasn't obscenely loud, Loba had been listening to that same noise the entire round, and knew that something far more attention-grabbing was to follow. She whipped around, hand already outstretched clamping over Mirage's mouth and nose. He nearly stumbled backward but caught himself at the last second, and the two found themselves in an awkward straddling position as they listened to the noise above them. Although Loba's attention was torn between the enemy above, and the idiot below her.  
  
 _"hHN! hhHH!"_ Loba tensed as Mirage continued to gasp, and she tried to smother the sound against her fingerless gloves as much as humanly possible. If he had a quiet sneeze, maybe it wouldn't be a problem. But no, just like every part of his personality and skills, he was anything _but_ subtle. Still, at least this way she could semi-control just how much volume he let out.  
  
 _"hhMPSH! h' **MF** SHH!"_   
  
It was obvious he had tried to stifle them, and technically did a decent job. The wetness that now coated Loba's glove was forgotten for the moment, her ears attempting to pick up on any sign of changes from above them. There didn't _seem_ to be any. Tentatively, Loba began to lower her hand, creeping back from atop the trickster. Okay, another crisis averted-  
  
 _"hHAAEE **TSCH** HUUu!"_  
  
His sneeze rung out with the intensity of a gunshot, echoing in the spacious area even after the sneeze was actually over. Loba, eyes alight with pure rage and frustration, grabbed hold of Mirage's collar and yanked him into the nearest building, the sound of footsteps closing in behind them. Well, so much for being sneaky. As she loaded her Volt and readied a thermite grenade, her gaze caught onto Mirage sniffling helplessly against his glove. At her glare, he quirked a weak smile.   
  
"What? Ndo _'Gesundheit?'_ "

**Author's Note:**

> So, this being my first work, I'm definitely a little nervous about the length. Anyway, while I do ship these two, this is definitely more of a platonic little thing. Hope y'all enjoy!


End file.
